I'm such a bullsh*t for sharing this, though it's all in the past now.

And so the days grew just a bit longer than before.

I never really wanted to, but she just made me fall more faster. From there, I then realized that I just somehow forced myself to face what's infront of me.
It grew very differently from the way I wanted it to be--not like this, it's just another side of what story lies within. I pretend. Yes, and I acted well enough on making the majority believe on waht I am feeling...

She smiled with such gladness. What a make believe I have found myself in, I smiled back knowning the fact that the feeling that she's in a lie everytime I look at her. She's just so fragile, and at the same time so powerful without any barriers holding her back... She made me fall too fast. Way too fast. Before I know it, I'm already in a moshpit, smothered by flattery. I couldn't control myself but to accept the reality of what's in store for me. What a such beauty to arouse myself on something I never wanted to happen. It made me feel contented in a short period of time, even without having the thought of what may happen in the coming future.

Have I taken this serious enough, or am I just having a shot of some taste that I could never really have?

A day has ended. And I am in a meloncholic trauma of what happend to me in the past. I could try to be all fine, to be just the one who I am before but I Just couldn't. It's eating me alive. An emotion a bit too strong, which within me has devoured.

Have I fallen really in love? Finally, I thought of something new. Really new. And so, I grabbed what device I could pick-up so that I could utterly confess what I have in mind. She answers right back--a voice of rejection I heard. The conversation ended right there, with me left in silence for a moment... For a day.
I couldn't believe it, it's like I was used, played with. Such an unfair moment for me to the fact that I am willing to take the risk and everything, but I guess it wasn't just enough to be the one beside her.

I guess she just needed more of what I could give, what I could offer. Or maybe... She just needed no one at the moment. What happened? I mean, there was something--a possible spark, but she gave up on it. The potential of what could someday blossom ended right at the moment when I just wanted to begin. Could I say that "We almost had it"; well I think I just fell way too short... I know you weren't ready. but why fonder with the feeling of falling deeply, then suddenly grab a branch to stop from feeling such?

Then you said I'm just taking it way too seriously, when in the first place; you were the one who made me think that I should. Your actions just don't suit your words. You're too strong when it comes the the art of conversation and argument, but I could feel that it's also the same thing that makes you weak. Were you surprised of what had happend? Suddenly you couldn't control it any longer so then you gave up and turned away. Now, I was left like a fool of the remanants of what just happend. I tried to pick it up, assemble and somehow show to you that I'm worth the try. But you couldn't agree with it.

Oh well... It's all in the past now, and all I have to do is to live with it. Thanks for hurting me, though I know I myself is the one to blame.